Brave Enough to Be Weary

I am tired. It's only Monday and I am exhausted. I kicked Monday's butt last week, but friends, today she came swinging. I came home today to find that Baby Miss had a high fever. After taking her to the doctor, we discovered she has the flu. This just breaks my heart. Her tiny little body is fighting of this nasty thing and it kills me that I can't take the pain away.

After finally returning from the doctor and pharmacy, we loaded the baby up on her medicine and went to lay her down and she puked. Not just cute baby puke. Horror movie projectile puke. All over me.

When we finally got her cleaned up and burned the couch and clothes, I was able to put her to sleep. And that's when it hit me. I am tired. The weary type of tired. The tired that comes from worrying that we'll all get hit with the flu sooner or later and I'll have to miss days of work which means more fourth graders will miss more instruction and I'll be using more sick days and will soon run out of sick days and then when another emergency happens I'll have to be docked to take off more days which means less money which means less food which means we will starve and live in a box.

I am tired.

So glad that when I am weak, He is strong. When I am strong, it's His strength that is in me. When I am able to stand tall and be brave, it's only because He holds me up. And in moments like today, when I feel like I've been hit by a bag of bricks, He renews me. He reminds me that it is okay to cry and to fall. It is okay to cling to Him. It is okay to be tired. How else will we know to appreciate the sun if we've never been in the storm? Tomorrow the sun will rise. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I'll be stronger.

28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV