I told her that this 31 day writing experience has brought on such great self reflection. I've been forced to really look deep into who I am, what I believe, and where I want to go.
And then she asked a question.
The question.
"What does being Jeanell, the real Jeanell look like?"
Ugh. Right to the gut. Don't you just love when God puts people in your life to push you and move you?
Ideas flooded my head for the 'perfect' answer. I thought of my marriage, my career, my kids, my friendships, my relationship with God, my health, my style or lack thereof. If it was of me, I considered it.
I finally admitted that I had never thought of me as a whole, only in bits and pieces.
Frances admitted to the same struggle. She explained that sometimes we get paralyzed…by fear. Afraid to take the next step. Distracted by the journeys of others and what the world has to say. Frances explained that we will always look to the left and claim the next woman to be the better 'something'. Our conversation went back and forth about wants and fears and comparison and those lovely insecurities.
The world is loud.
But…He is louder.
We finally came to the conclusion that in order to figure out who we are, we must first turn to our identity in Christ. Let's keep our eyes on Him. He will show us our gifts.
First, we are daughters of a King.
The King.
Let us be brave and remember our given role and the rest will fall into place.
When I see myself through His eyes, those insecurities become embraced quirks that display His fingerprint on my heart. I want to accept my perfect imperfections and see what He sees when he looks at me. I want to love who I am…bravely.
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