Right Now

Yesterday I submitted my last assignments for grad school. I've been looking forward to that moment for a long time now. When it happened, I was sure I was going to scream, cry, or dance around naked. I did none of the above. (You're welcome.) I closed my laptop and I exhaled. I didn't even realize that after a nearly two year journey, what I looked forward to most was breathing. 

If you ask the Hubster, he would agree that I have a hard time sitting still. I constantly jump from one thing to the next. Interest turns into excitement which turns into anxiety which often turns into "What was I thinking?" Now that grad school is over and I'm on maternity leave, it's only natural for my mind to wander to what I can accomplish next. Which project can I tackle on my list? Which craft do I want to try? Which bandwagon will I hop on? (Adult coloring is a thing. A very good thing.) 

However, lately my heart has taken a new turn. I feel that He's calling me to be still. 

I have this desire to do absolutely nothing. A lot of people have wondered why I'm taking additional weeks off after having a summer baby. The truth is I went back to work right at six weeks with both my girls and both times I struggled. I struggled emotionally and it took a while for my mind to actually work when at work. All I could think of was how I wanted to be home. Now that I've completed my master's program, I don't want to jump right back into work. I want to ease into it and take it day by day. I want to soak in every moment and milestone. 

I find that we often get pressured into jumping into the next thing. We earn a degree and are asked if we are considering the next program. We have a baby and are asked if we want more. We make purchases and consider upgrades almost immediately. I wonder how much slower the world would turn if we just sat and enjoyed what we had. Being grateful in the moment can do measures on your well-being. 

"Enough is a feast." -Buddhist Proverb

How much happier would I be if I didn't overlook the small things for the next big thing? I'm challenging myself to face the day with gratitude…to appreciate every gesture, laugh, tantrum, smile, cry, time-out, hug, "I love you", piece of laundry, apology, diaper, and moment with my people. I want to appreciate every star in the sky. There are blessings to be found. Blessings are in the now…the 'right where we are' moments. We just have to listen.