The Pancakes that Changed My Life

I took the girls to dinner tonight. 

We went to IHop. 

The pancakes changed my life. 

Yes they were amazing. They were soft and buttery and perfect. Best of all, they were free.

However, what I saw as I scraped the plate and took my last bite changed me. 

I looked to the left and saw a family of four. They appeared to be a father with two teenage children and one smaller child. Three of them had their heads down and their thumbs were scrolling. One of them even managed to crack up at something he saw on his phone, unaware of what was going on around him. The youngest looked alone and bored. She had no one to talk to, nothing to engage in.

It was then that I asked myself, “Am I looking in the mirror?” How many times have my babies seen the top of my head or heard a quick “Shhh” because I was ‘busy’?  How many moments have I missed because I was ‘preoccupied’? How many stories told by The Hubster have I only pretended to hear?

Don’t get me wrong. I love social media. In the past few weeks I’ve discovered more than ever how it can be used positively. There are many benefits of being connected with other people. There are stories to be shared and lessons to be learned. Personally, I just don’t believe I am where I need to be.  

About two weeks ago, I was invited to attend an event with a friend. It was to be held by an amazing woman who would share her ideas about Lent. Because I was a little unfamiliar with the concept, I decided to go. Many people associate Catholics with this practice, but I learned that anyone can dedicate time to getting closer to Jesus and celebrate Easter at the culmination of the forty days. 

When I left, I thought long and hard about what I could possibly give up.I considered many things, EVEN TARGET! However, as I finished my meal tonight, I knew I needed to look no more. I looked into my own heart and realized how much time I’ve wasted. My thumbs look like they are on steroids from all the scrolling I do. I’m checking my phone while waiting in line, eating at the table, during my planning period, riding in the car, and even while sitting on the toilet (don’t judge me). So many things are neglected, so many relationships ignored. I struggle to have quiet time with God because I don’t set aside time for God. I could have a list of 50 million things to do and still. reach. for. my. phone.   

 What better time than now to make a change. I have challenged myself to only use my cell phone for calls and texts. As far as social media, e-mails, Etsy, and the blog, I will only access them once the girls are asleep and it will be through a computer. I plan to wait until our school days are discussed and dinner is eaten, until they are bathed and in bed. 

Why?

Because I want to make eye-contact with Baby Miss and help to build her vocabulary,  

Because I deleted the FB app on my phone 3 months ago but still cheat and go through Safari, 

Because I want to finish the book I started last summer, 

Because I want to braid Little Miss’ hair, 

Because I want to write a letter, 

Because I want to conquer my stack of graded papers, 

Because I don’t want to take pictures for the world,

Because I want memories, 

Because I don’t want to count ‘likes’ or ‘followers’, 

Because I want to actually clean my toilets and not wait until someone visits, 

Because I want people to see Him in me,  

Because I want to know more about this guy named Jesus and why he loves me so much. 

Forty days is a loooong time and I KNOW this will be hard. However my heart tells me it will be worth it. I’m not sure how I’ll turn out at the end of it. I pray to climb out wiser and more focused. I want to grow closer to Him. 

“An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.”

                                                -W. Somerset Maugham

Have you ever made a sacrifice to be closer to God? I’d love to be inspired by your stories. Please share them below. 

Until we land again,

Jeanell